There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
