Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
this beer tastes like vomit already
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
