i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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