how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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