If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
