I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
