honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
