3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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