yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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