I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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