He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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