He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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