i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
