I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
