We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
