So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
