GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
