So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
