My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
