She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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