so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
