he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
