Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
