Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
