i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
