So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
