I think i sorta joined a cult last night
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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