I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
