They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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