laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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