I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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