Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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