Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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