Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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