I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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