i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
