ya dads aren't the best wingmen
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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