I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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