Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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