I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
