Who wears a wallet chain?!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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