Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
