ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
