I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
