either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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