sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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