dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
