Your tits are I can't wait for
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
