I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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