I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
