I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
